Life Glue

2015

*Life is a series of events and breaths glued together by the hope that everything will work out in the end. - Marikat 2015*

My twenties was a mixture of triumphs and falls; considering the foolish decisions I made during parts of these times, I take my current breaths deeply as I could have died several times over. Like most early twenties, I thought I knew everything and had all the answers. My mid to late twenties were spent beating these feelings out of me. I appreciate my twenties for what they were, they made me into a stronger person with lessons of madness, disease, death, poverty, failure.... I have seen humanity at some of it's worse points and from this I learned that it is never too late to start over; even after innocence is gone, joy can be reborn.

I was not really able to say this until after I turned 30. I am a beautiful person both inside and out. When I look into the mirror I see a pair of eyes that sparkle in the face of adversity. I see lips that smile while teasing with their fullness. I see skin that is smooth yet thick to protect me from others attempts to wound me and hair thats color changes depending on the light. I see perky breasts and hips that offer comfort and solace to those I curl up with. In my voice I hear determination that I will succeed and kindness. When I look at myself in the mirror I see a woman who has spent 30 years playing the cards life handed her. I feel no shame saying I have made my mistakes, but I refuse to spend the rest of my life living in purgatory. I am not a monster, I am not evil, and I will not let another's tif with me impact my success or my happiness.

After much reflection, I realize I have spent too much time on the wrong people. I worried more about the people who harbored negativity towards me and told me I couldn't do something, instead of encouraging me to follow my dreams and take chances. That is not good enough for my thirties. This decade is mine to manifest. I have the tools and I have the ability to make amazing things happen.

All I need to do is have enough glue. ;)

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